Okay but technically all of the purebloods were related to one another right? So in a weird confusing way, Harry is also a descendant of Salazar Slytherin.
And I mean seriously they spent all of Chamber of Secrets building up the plot-twist that Harry could talk to snakes and then he’s in front of a giant snake and it’s all, “Oh, no, you can’t talk to it, it only obeys me.”
What kind of lost potential is that?
Like just imagine this twelve-year-old kid racing through the pipes and the Basilisk is following him and he just trips and curls up into a bawl and the Basilisk is ready to strike and Harry just moans, “Don’t!”
And the Basilisk stops.
Because Harry can speak to it and since he really is probably Salazar Slytherin’s fiftieth cousin twenty times removed or something, the Basilisk listens. And she stops.
And then maybe they have a conversation and Harry just sort of awkwardly asks her to follow him and they head back to Ginny. And Riddle’s furious but he says that it doesn’t matter because in a few minutes, Ginny will be dead and he’ll be back. And Harry just grabs the diary and chucks it at the Basilisk who chomps it between her teeth and swallows it, destroying it and the spirit.
So Harry wakes up Ginny and they tell the Basilisk that she can’t attack people anymore (she never wanted to to begin with) and the snake happily curls up inside the statue.
And Harry ended up saving the day not with his connection to Gryffindor but with his connection to Slytherin.
And then, a few years later, an exhausted Harry opens the Chamber of Secrets and unleashes the weapon in the Battle of Hogwarts. And Voldemort has to look on in horror as he’s defeated by Salazar Slytherin’s own “weapon”.
The Hogwarts Houses || The Four Elements
Imagine if Sirius could have raised Harry and when he sent a howler to him in his second year for driving the car to school.
“I’M NOT EVEN MAD, I’M ACTUALLY IMPRESSED. MERLIN’S BEARD I’M PROUD.”
And Remus in the background
“SIRIUS NO.”
Okay, muggleborn headcannons are adorable. But can we take a moment to appreciate their poor parents?
- Desperately trying to find a book about how to raise your kid who is all of a sudden a witch/wizard.
- Trying to explain to the neighbors why your kid suddenly has an owl/toad for a pet and spends an excessive amount of time polishing that ancient broom out on the back porch.
- Debating if it’s better to try and wash robes in the sink or just risk taking them to the laundromat.
- Having to clean out their trunks when they get home from school because Merlin knows what the hell you will find in there.
- Trying to keep any younger siblings from telling random strangers on the street that their big brother/sister is a wizard/witch.
- Showing up to Diagon Alley for the first time and holy shit what the hell is all of this honey please make a friend with witch/wizard parents so they can tell us what to do.
- Galleons? Knuts?
- WHY IS YOUR TEXTBOOK TRYING TO ATTACK ME?!
- Trying to explain to grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins why they can’t attend visitors day at the child’s new boarding school.
- Having to come up with a whole new system of rules to deal with anything magical.
- Standing awkwardly outside platform 9 ¾ and waiting for another wizarding family to show them what to do.
- Learning that the main wizard sport, which your child is determined to participate in, involves riding around on a thin little stick a hundred or more feet in the air while moving at excessive speeds.
- Getting letters from your kid after their first night demanding you come pick them up because there is no wifi and THEY SAID IF WE WENT TO THE FOURTH FLOOR WE WOULD DIE.
Seriously. Muggle Parents of Witches/Wizards are adorable. I just have this picture of them rushing out to Diagon Alley after the representative from whatever school visits them to tell them about their kid and they just buy every book they can get their hands on to figure out what the hell they’re supposed to do now.
social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him.
#in harry’s first year someone develops a snapchat filter for a lightning bolt scar and green eyes#‘there’s no need to call my sir professor’ becomes everyone’s facebook status in sixth year#also! the daily prophet as like a buzzfeed site#in fifth year there are titles like 10 Worst Lies Harry Potter Ever Told#mainly tho i want to see draco’s fake dementor fail in third year becoming a meme (kneelb4kesha)
Need a cheat sheet for wizard finance? We got you
Based on the calculations of an inspired fan, we put together a list of how many galleons you can expect to shell out to peep the next Chudley Cannons game.
Thank you to whoever had the time on their hands to actually calculate fake money into real money so we can better understand the wizarding world.
Minerva McGonagall, 20 years old.
Drawing this was emotionally taxing.
(Thanks you talking-bird-jessie for suggesting this scene from Order of the Phoenix!)
Reblogging because this is beautiful and totally should’ve been in the movie
Why are moments like this not in the movies? :’(
I have this headcanon that after Neville proposed to Hannah Abbott, he went to his parents at St. Mungo’s and sat with them. Even though he was sure she wouldn’t understand or remember, he held his mother’s hands and told her, “I’m getting married, Mum. She’s great. You’ll really like her.” Alice just hummed and stared off into the distance. No reaction. Neville still stayed, telling his parents all about Hannah and their plans, and how she wanted so badly to come meet them and he would bring her next time.
Then, as he put his hand on the door handle to leave, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Alice. She held out her hand as she had done so many times before. Expecting a candy wrapper, Neville held out his hand but felt something heavier drop into it.
When he looked down, there were two rings. And when he glanced to his mother’s hand, there was an indent where her wedding ring had once rested but was no longer there.
Is everything in this post designed to make me fucking sob?
(click to enlarge)
I can seriously imagine Albus and James swapping chocolate frog cards and all their friends are like ‘OMG THE BOY WHO LIVED GUYS’ and they don’t even bat an eyelid ‘Yeah got the real one at home bit of a tosser really’
bit of a tosser really
500% DONE WITH THIS FANDOM
Same
let’s be real if harry was raised by mcgonagall he would not only be the most badass kid at hogwarts, he would be the most polite, and the sweetest, and would probably have neater hair, not to mention he would most likely kill voldemort at age eleven and still meet minerva for tea with the time to spare
harry: mama, just killed a man
minerva: have a biscuit
harry potter + would you like some ice for that burn
Harry Potter & Magical Spaces Amanda Penley